For Fun: Boyfriend v Computer Husband Software

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0. What I have
noticed is a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewelry
applications, which had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0
system. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such
as Sport 7.3, NFL 3.2 and Tennis 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer
runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I
do?
Yours faithfully
Desperate Susan
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Reply from Tech Support

Dear Desperate Susan,
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package,
while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/
I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications: Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But
remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background
applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create
Snoring Loudly.WAV files.
DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend
program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband
1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the
program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been
known to introduce viruses into the Operating System.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and can’t learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I
personally recommend Home Cooking 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5.
Finally consider applications such as Lingerie 6.9 (which has been
credited with improved performance of his hardware).

Good Luck
Tech Support

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Posted 1 Oct 2009 by Scott Gould
Categories: He Saved The Day